Shifting Our Attention

“All real living is meeting.” — Martin Buber

Edward Hopper’s 1942 painting "Nighthawks" is a portrait of contemporary alienation. Four people arrive in the same space at the same time, yet remain sealed within themselves. The American realist painting reflects a feeling and experience we can all relate to, and asks us the ongoing question of our time: What is preventing us from turning to each other?

Community life in the United States is suffering from a profound social thinning in which there are fewer sustained encounters between neighbors and fellow citizens, degrading the social habits that enrich individual life. As daily practices of recognition have declined, our politics has become more abstract, divisive and cruel. We no longer recognize the life of our neighbor as part of our own.

This is why loneliness is so painful. It is not simply the absence of company; it is the absence of recognition. Current survey research reveals that more and more Americans are living lives of increasing loneliness, mistrust, and the feeling that no one is listening. When people become lonely they act in divisive ways, and as division spreads so too does loneliness. How do we stop the cycle of alienation?

Community will begin when we shift our attention.

Attention is more than observation. It is an act of openness. Contemporary culture and communication encourages the opposite. We encounter people primarily through labels and expediencies: conservative, liberal, immigrant, Christian, atheist, wealthy, poor, urban, rural. Categories can be useful, but they block authentic relationship. Attention is the recognition of ourselves in others.

In his 1923 book "I and Thou," the Austrian-Israeli philosopher Martin Buber described this as the movement from "I-It" to "I-Thou." In ordinary life, we often experience others as objects — people who serve functions, fill roles, or occupy categories. Community begins when we encounter another person as a "Thou": a living subject with hopes, fears, dignity, and complexity equal to our own. Such encounters don't happen through proximity alone. They develop with a social habit of presence, listening, and genuine attention.

The long work of building a more cohesive society for all is not simply a matter of winning elections. It will only happen when finally agree to meet and see our fellow citizens, and absorb their enriching human experiences into our own.

"All real living is meeting," wrote Buber

1. Martin Buber, "I and Thou" (1923).
2. Edward Hopper. "Nighthawks" (1942). Art Institute of Chicago.